My year in pictures. Let me paint them for you.

2009 is almost coming to an end and I really thank God (thank God again!) that it is almost over. Generally, it has been a year of extreme changes, ultimate blessings as well as torturous and unending heartaches. The problem with me was that I remembered some major bad times more then the good ones. And I thought that I always see the glass half full.

Oh well :)

But I also knew that men can and will always fail me. I have placed too much hope and expectations on men and even on myself that I end up putting myself through some tough agony and almost on the verge of cracking. There is so much one can take and God precisely knows how much.

I said that I wouldn't trade all my sorrows for joys (and I truly mean it! :) )because I believe these pain that I go through are absolutely necessary for my spiritual and emotional growth as well as maturity. There are lessons I have learnt through my sadness more that I appreciate and remember more than those good times I had.

Of course God will never ever take us through what we cannot bear so I learnt not to worry and just relax because I know that He knows I can take it with His strength :)

I also learnt that the church of Christ is beautiful. The people can be horrible, hypocritical and horrifying. And if we look to them and base our church attendance on these people, then we have completely missed the point. His people are imperfect but they are HIS. He loves them and adores them. And they love and need Him. I learnt to look to God and not to men.

I learnt not to judge lest I be judged. I learnt also to put myself in someone's shoes and like Atticus in To Kill a Mockingbird, advised Scout to "crawl into someone else's skin and walk around in their lives in a day". I learnt that no matter how much I learn, I have still more to learn. I learnt to value every single soul in and out of church: that everyone is valuable and precious to God.

I learnt not to be vindictive nor to harbour hatred when things turn sour in a relationship. I learnt to forgive the hard way but I was relieved that God have grant us a powerful memory so that we do not forget. I learnt that remembering the tearful events doesn't make me a base and worthless wood louse. I learnt that for every SINGLE thing that I go through, apart from it happening for a reason, I know that my negative experience will bless, touch, soothe and heal those who has been through what I have. God knew that when I come out of the scorching fire unscathed, I will proclaim His goodness and praise Him because He is good. I pray that this will encourage others to believe and trust in God too. I learnt that everyone deserves forgiveness of a million times or more.

I have learnt that nothing is impossible for God and nothing is too difficult to overcome when we have Him in our lives.

I also learnt that God still gives us sunshine after thunderstorms; still blesses us with better days and new beginnings.

I learnt that when our 'great' dreams are broken or unfulfilled, they are only a speck of fragment of God's ultimate plan for our lives.

I learnt to cherish my family and friends and never ever take them for granted. I learnt that there are so many out there who genuinely love me for who I am, challenge me to grow and always want the best for me. These are those who'll be always close to y heart and mind.

There is so much that I have learnt this year, but O my good Lord keep me obedient, humble and learning all the time; seeing through Your eyes, loving as You have loved.

In 2009, I learnt to cry, accept, lean on Him, let go and move on. It is also in this year too that I learnt to smile, give thanks and hope on Him always.

Happy New Year my friends. 2010 will be a year of hope and greater things to come. :) My God has done so much for me. Allow Him to do the same for you. God bless you! I can't wait for next year!

Now that I'm 25

It's been a long time since I last visited my humble abode here hehe Now that I'm twentyfive, I see things a little differently.

NAH! :p

It's great to have great family/friends/boyfriend on your birthday to remember and love you. I'd say, this has been the best birthday by far! Had 2 slices of cake to celebrate and a REAL birthday cake surprise yesterday by the drama team. Real, real awesome! I have no pictures. Except one I took of myself while at a very relaxed, unpretentious dinner at Frangipani.

I'm not sure if it was fine dining because to me, it was semi-fine hehe There were more cutlery than you need on the table so I suppose it is. Fine dining or not, it sure is a fine dinner :) Pun intended. I dropped my tomato butter on the table cloth and and laughed so hard that I almost choked on my apple. Not very refined haha!

And my date was very nice. He made me feel better by starting to speak in HOKKIEN very loudly and in a brash manner! I laughed even more and told him that Hokkien and fusion French cuisine doesn't really jive. And he went on and on in Hokkien until his vocabulary ran dry. haha!

My parents gave me a yummy angpau hehe I'm rich! No la. My sister and my (stingy) brother gave me my favourite Body Shop raspberry shower stuff. I'm happy already. And among other precious gifts include an extremely thoughtful photo album "documenting" my journey in MCKL, climbing and friendship with Carmen. She's an angel. Thank you, girl. And the funniest but cutest gift has to be an apron from my 2 lovely students. I wonder why an apron, really; because not many know I love cooking. Definitely not them. But it sure is a nice surprise and maybe I should start cooking regularly again.

is amazing and can only get better. I look forward to growing and living life. Thank you all who made my day oh-so-special! You know who you are :)

Now that I'm 25, I don't have to lie about my age anymore. I hate it that people insist that I'm 25 when I have not turned 25. Trust me, come 2010, everyone will make me lie about my age again and say that I'm 26. Let me just bask in my age for now :)

Annyong Haseyo

I love shopping without a purpose. But I can't say the same when it comes to shopping for specific items. That's why shopping lists are as useful to me as hammers are to chefs. You get what I mean :)

First it was winter boots.

I found that.

Then it was winter jacket.

I found that too but it's a tad bit too pricey for me.

So I came up with a strategy called "Buying in Desperation" or BID for short.

You see, I walked into the same store looking and trying on the same winter jacket for more than 4 times already. I even went to the ATM to withdraw money sufficient to pay for it.

BUT I cannot bring myself to buy it. I give myself excuses for not buying it and man, I'll tell you, I make a pretty good salesperson because even I convinced myself! haha! Anyway, it's a good jacket and I needed to spend that money to buy it. I went to other stores and saw other jackets but nothing beats THIS one. Believe me, you don't want to buy something that you don't actually quite like.

And so the strategy is like this.

I'll keep my money and not buy until next Friday morning and that's when I get desperate because my flight to Seoul is at night. I get very desperate. So I will have no choice but to buy it! I don't do very well in cold weather. 5˚C in Shanghai last year made me mute, had my appetite supressed, lost 3kgs in 7 days and frozen to my bones. So -3˚C ~ -5˚C this time is going to kill me, literally.

But I'm really looking forward to skiing!

I'm not sure why but for some very odd reason, whenever some Korean parent speaks to me in school, I'm so tempted to speak in Japanese in reply so to ease them from explaining to me in English. Of course, my egg head hasn't quite figured out that Japanese and Korean are different languages! But geographically they are quite close though. hehe Anyway, I even learnt a very useful phrase to ask "Do you speak English? Yes? Thank you!",

"Yeonggeorul malsum halsu isseoyo? Ne? Kamsahamnida!" haha! :D

Korea! Here I come! But before that, I need to buy my jacket first.

Jane

“Well, Jane; not a word of reproach? Nothing bitter—nothing poignant? Nothing to cut a feeling or sting a passion? You sit quietly where I have placed you, and regard me with a weary, passive look.”

“Jane I never meant to wound you thus. If the man who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter, that ate of his bread and drank of his cup, and lay in his bosom, had by some mistake slaughtered it at the shambles, he would not have rued his bloody blunder more than I now rue mine. Will you ever forgive me?”

Reader!—I forgave him at the moment, and on the spot. There was such deep remorse in his eye, such true pity in his tone, such manly energy in his manner; and, besides, there was such unchanged love in his whole look and mien—I forgave him all: yet not in words, not outwardly; only at my heart's core.

I have said that Jane Eyre is not my cup of tea.

But when I read Chapter XXVII again yesterday and today, I could not but thank Charlotte Brontë for writing this portion. If anyone were to ask me how is it possible that you forgive someone who have wronged you so quickly, I'd tell them that it is possible. And in this context, I have responded just as Jane had without even realising it until today.

And like Paul said, "For the love of Christ compels me to." I won't be a saint and say it's easy. But if need be, I'll forgive over and over (and over) again.

It's funny to be saying this, but reading Jane Eyre for the 5th time now alleviated my pain. I still want to believe that what was used to aggravate me is turned around for good.

My hike to Berkelah (in short)

I hiked with these Crocs. They followed me from Harajuku all the way up to Berkelah, Maran. Simply fabulous. But when we were hiking up, it was a complete love-hate relationship. One moment, I thank God that these cute darlings kept me from slipping, another moment, I was tempted to fling them down stream and watch its death.

And I was seriously contemplating to descend the hill with my Prima Crocs. I wish that God would hear my faint heart's cry and send me a floatie and let me water raft down hill in the most dangerous fashion. Anything but in Crocs.

Alas it rained when we're on our way back! And I almost met my Maker hehe :) That's good news.

The trip was worthwhile - in retrospect.

I saw a majestic waterfall,

Took nice pictures,

Had someone to share the moment with,

And even saw mermaids.

I could not ask for a better way to spend my Public Holiday. Well spent. :)